The Maintenance of Headway – Magnus Mills (2009) 152 pages
I remember quite clearly when Magnus Mills’ first novel The Restraint of Beasts, was published in 1998 and shortlisted for the Booker. He was a London bus driver, and so the story made the regional news and I realised he actually drove my local routes. In The Maintenance of Headway, Mills draws on this occupational experience and there was plenty I recognised, as well as thankfully some I didn’t!
The title refers to “the notion that a fixed interval between buses on a regular service can be attained and adhered to.”
This deceptively simple idea is in fact impossible to achieve.
“In this city it’s different. The streets are higgledy-piggledy and narrow; there are countless squares and circuses, zebra crossings and pelicans. Go east from the arch and you’ve got twenty-three sets of traffic lights in a row. All those shops, and all those pedestrians pouring into the road. Then there are the daily incidentals: street markets, burst water mains, leaking gas pipes, diesel spillages, resurfacing road works, ad hoc refuse collections, broken-down vehicles, troops on horseback, guards being changed, protest marches, royal cavalcade and presidential motorcade. Shall I go on?”
This was already starting to sound very familiar 😀
The bus drivers know maintaining headway is impossible, but they are subject to the inspectors, who also know its impossible. Various measures are taken each day to attempt to meet the impossible. At one point, one of the managers tells the narrator off for arriving six minutes late, in theory.
“’See how it accumulates? See the potential for outright bedlam? Your failure to be punctual could make a million people late for work!’
Frank sat behind his desk and bristled with imaginary rage.
‘Sorry,’ I said.
‘That’s alright,’ he replied. ‘Don’t let it happen again though.’”
Similar surrealism exists away from the depot on the bus journeys themselves:
“Strictly speaking there existed an imaginary line in front of which passengers weren’t supposed to stand. This was difficult to enforce, however, when people simply kept piling into the vehicle. In the past I tried making announcements in which I’d asked them ‘not to stand forward of the imaginary line,’ but they never took any notice.”
The city is never specified but there are various allusions to London: three stations, one Gothic flanked by two utilitarian “Cinderella and her ugly sisters” sounds like St Pancras, King’s Cross and Euston; the “southern outpost” is Crystal Palace; the “bejewelled thoroughfare” is Oxford Street. There are also frequent references to the obsolete, conductor-staffed “Venerable Platform Bus” which are the much-missed Routemaster buses. These various allusions add to the atmosphere that Mills is so adept at creating, of a world at once recognisable and oddly disconcerting.
If you’re yet to try Mills then Headway may not be the best place to start as I didn’t find it quite as sparkling as some of his other work. However, I’ve been a fan of his since The Restraint of Beasts, and if you are too there’s plenty to enjoy: the deadpan humour; the surreal quality never quite articulated; a dark edge questioning free will; a bleakness offset by a light touch. I’ll read anything he writes and it always feels like time well spent. Ironically, this is often an elusive quality to his characters.
“If the bus happens to arrive on schedule it’s good for the public record but little else. Nobody believes the timetables. Waiting for buses is therefore paradoxical.”
madame bibi lophile recommends 
I do think this sounds good, just about London buses and routes is enough really! but I take your point that here he isn’t at his most sparkling! and for once the quote from The Sunday Times is actually inspiring and fun!
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It’s just about recognisable as London, but Mills is always right on the edge of surreal!
It’s good fun though, I’m glad you like the sound of it!
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Great review! Magnus Mills is one of my favourite authors … and I 100% agree this probably isn’t the place to start if you have never read him.
I love that he drove the bus routes you were familiar with. I wonder if he ever drove you!
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Thanks Kim! Great to hear how much you like Mills too.
I wonder if he ever drove me! I did read recently that he still hadn’t retired. I don’t know if that’s true but I’m going to keep an eye out 😀
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Hurrah for Mills! I agree, this one doesn’t have quite the same surreal wonder as Restraint of Beasts, though I did enjoy it. I think my favourite by him is Three To See The King (can’t remember which of his you’ve read) but he is always worth a read.
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Hurrah for Mills! I agree, this one doesn’t have quite the same surreal wonder as Restraint of Beasts, though I did enjoy it. I think my favourite by him is Three To See The King (can’t remember which of his you’ve read) but he is always worth a read.
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Yes Three to See the King is great! I’ve really fallen behind with Mills so I’ve plenty to catch up on. Good to hear you enjoyed this too Simon 🙂
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I love your first paragraph! I was a bookseller when The Restraint of Beasts was published, touted by the publisher’s rep as ‘the next big thing’. The bus driving was an added bonus for publicists.
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Yes they really pushed the bus driving angle 😀 In a way it worked, because I do remember it all really clearly, and my memory is absolutely dreadful!
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This sounds rather quirky and fun, Madame B – especially if it features Routemasters!!
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It is fun! I do enjoy his humour. And I love a Routemaster 😊
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I haven’t heard of him, but shall investigate The Restraint of Beasts. I thought Boris had brought back the Routemasters?
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I hope you enjoy him if you give him a try!
Boris made great noise about bringing back the routemasters but like everything else he says it was self-serving bluster. The replacements didn’t have the open platform which is what was distinct to the routemasters, because they’re no longer safe or accessible. So he couldn’t bring them back. The buses he put in are cramped, uncomfortable, and in the summer they are the temperature of molten lava – to the point where I actually won’t use them then – because they made these shiny new buses without air-con. None of this would affect him because he’s probably never used a bus in his life except for photo ops and to paint lies about Brexit on the side. I bet you’re sorry you asked now FF 🤣🤣
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I love Mills, even though people are surprised by that – I don’t think I’ve got to this one yet, though! Sounds superb, what with the bus theme!
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If you enjoy Mills I think you’ll really like this one Liz!
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Not my favourite Mills either, but there is still plenty to ponder and giggle at. Being a child of the 1960s, I couldn’t help thinking of On The Buses as I read it.
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Yes still plenty to enjoy! I’d forgotten all about On the Buses 😁
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Ohhhh, I really love the sounds of this one. And especially the in-theory-lateness part. Plus, what a fab story about his having been on your route…and still driving apparently…somewhere.
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The scene with in theory lateness and imaginary rage was really entertaining!
I keep meaning to keep an eye out for Mills when we go past the bus garage but I always forget – usually because I’m reading my book 😀
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